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Category Archive for 'Adult Jokes'

Ugly Prostitute

Just to inject some humor in your quest for more sex. Check out this… lady here, who is too ugly to prostitute! Haha…

Ugly Prostitute

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A few extra strokes

I will be right home, honey… I am just getting in a few extra strokes…

Sex at the golf course

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Hairy dick

Have you seen a hairy dick like this?! It looks long, but too much hair…

Hairy dick

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My DAD would be pissed if he knew how many dicks I’ve put in my mouth!

Dicks in mouth

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The adult movie musician

A musician was hired to play the background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the movie. The producer honestly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a few weeks time.

A month later, the musician went to a porno theater to watch it. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise. The movie was even nastier than he had anticipated, featuring a superb group sex, S/M, anal sex and even a dog.

Group sex photo

After a while, the embarrassed musician turned to the couple and said, “Nice music? I am only here to listen to the music!”

“Yeah?” replied the man. “We are here to see our dog only.”

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Blonde at the pizza shop

Blonde and pizza

A blonde was hungry after having sex her man told her to buy some pizza for supper. She went and after ordering, the assistant asked the her if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

“Six please” she said, “I could never eat twelve!”

Hahahaha…

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Lucky pussy cat

I wish I was the pussy cat. So lucky!

Pussy cat

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The penis raise request

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don’t get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Yours truly,
Penis

Penis

The following is the reply to the Penis from the Management.

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Funny adult jokes

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both of them keep searching for new holes.

Big boobs schoolgirl

Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl’s skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?
A: The boy friend’s hand.

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A blonde gets a facelift

A pretty blonde decides to have a facelift for her 40th birthday. She spends $20,000 and feels pretty good about the results as she now looks so much younger and sexier. On her way home, she stops at a news-stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the salesgirl, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?”

“About 22,” is the reply.

Hot blonde

“Nope! I’m exactly 40,” the woman replies with a big smile.

A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, “I’d guess about 21.”

The woman says happily, “Nope, I’m 40. I guess I look so much younger, right? Hehe.”

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