Haha… it’s in fact a panda baby! What were you thinking, dirty minded you!?

Weird, but it’s true! Haha, a baby panda looks so much like a hairy cock!

A month later, the musician went to a porno theater to watch it. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise. The movie was even nastier than he had anticipated, featuring a superb group sex, S/M, anal sex and even a dog.

After a while, the embarrassed musician turned to the couple and said, “Nice music? I am only here to listen to the music!”

“Yeah?” replied the man. “We are here to see our dog only.”

A blonde was hungry after having sex her man told her to buy some pizza for supper. She went and after ordering, the assistant asked the her if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

“Six please” she said, “I could never eat twelve!”

Hahahaha…

I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don’t get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Yours truly,
Penis

The following is the reply to the Penis from the Management.

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
You do not take initiative – you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You’ll retire well before reaching 65
You’re unable to work double shifts before you have completed the day’s work
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management

Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl’s skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?
A: The boy friend’s hand.

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman’s period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5 days and if it doesn’t come, it means you are in big trouble.

Q: What is the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.

Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a shower. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan was surprised and asked “Why”?
A: The animals told him, “Your tail is in front”!

Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?
A: Doctor, I thought you said 3 males a day. (The patient is a chick)

“About 22,” is the reply.

“Nope! I’m exactly 40,” the woman replies with a big smile.

A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, “I’d guess about 21.”

The woman says happily, “Nope, I’m 40. I guess I look so much younger, right? Hehe.”

Now she’s feeling really good about herself. While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.

He replies, “Lady, I’m 68 and my eyesight is not so good. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are. You want to let me try?”

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, “What the hell, go ahead.”

The old man immediately slips both his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and gentlely. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently rubs each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other too!

After a few more minutes of this, she says, “Okay, okay…How old am I?”

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, “Madam, you are 40.”

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, “That was incredible, how could you tell?”

The old man says, “Promise you won’t get mad?”

“I promise I won’t.” she says.

“I was behind you in line at McDonald’s.” Wahahahahaaaaaaa…